The Variety Show

The Variety Show

The variety show started with its usual act. The audience was almost in tears from laughing so much. This show is slated to have the best variety cast ever; Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Jerry Lewis, and Lucille Ball. Not only did the crowd enjoy the show but the cast. One never knew what Jerry or Tim would come up with. They were known to go off script once live

. Reactions from the audience could send them off on a tangent.

The show was in the middle of Ship Ahoy, a spoof about the Titanic. Just as the Titanic hit the iceberg, the whole theater began to shake. People thought it was some sort of special effects. The frenzy from the actors backstage was a circus in its self to see, but It’s the thespian motto; “No matter what the show must go on,” so in a few minutes, they pulled themselves together, ready for the next skit.

On stage, you hear Lucy tell Carol,” Jerry and Tim had Mexican for lunch. “Bob,” There must have been jumping beans in those burritos.” Jerry looked at Tim, who gave an impish look and said,” I think they were elephant beans.” The entire cast and audience are cracking up, no one heard the sirens go by. The curtain closed. Backstage, Lucy shouts,” Send a grip to see what is going on. Take your places, everyone.”

The curtain rises, Phyllis is lying on the bed reading, a bouquet of balloons on the nightstand. Bob, in his suit, walks by pushing on the bed with his hand. Phyllis rolls with the waves of the bed. Bob bangs around in the closet, comes out in his nightclothes, jumping onto the bed. You hear a slosh of water, Phyllis falls off the other side from the wave. She crawls back up and announces,” I think we have a mouse.” She fluffs and rolls and fluffs some more, there are scratching noises. They both get very still and listen – nothing.

Tim and Jerry come in dressed in Pj’s. Jerry,” We don’t want ta go to bed!” Tim.” yea, we want a story.” sucks thumb. Jerry shoves Tim, they slap back and forth at each other. Phyllis,” Boys, go to your room. Dad will be in and tell you a story.” Bob,” Your mom needs her beauty sleep, now go!” Boys, “Okay, we’ll go.” they shuffle off.

Bob and Phyllis adjust the pillows, and you hear scratching noises. Lucy and Carol enter, hair in pigtails and licking lollipops.

Carol, “The boys won’t leave us alone, and they stink from the burritos.

” Lucy,” They think we are ugly.”

Bob,” The next time, just scare them away.” Bob gets up and takes the girls by the hands, leading them off stage.

Phyllis moves around a bit on the bed. You hear scratching noises. Bob enters, you hear Carol’s Tarzan yell off stage. Bob, “That ought to scare them, it scares me.” He jumps back in bed. Phyllis hangs on, just missing going over the edge. Suddenly she burst out laughing.” I found our mouse.” Bob jumps to a sitting position, curling up on the bed,” Where? Where?” Phyllis points to the balloons, “Every time we move, the bed makes them bounce against the wall.”

As they are settling in, the lighting begins. Tim enters,” I’m frightened. I sleep with you.” He bounces on the bed. A few moments later. Jerry comes in and does the same. Next Lucy crawls onto the bed.

Bob,” This is making me seasick.”

The next flash of lightening Carol comes in.

Bob,” Sure, why not.”

As carol gets on the bed you hear a large pop and a gush of water. The theater shakes, the lights go out. Lucy hollers,” That’s it, boys, no more beans for you!”

After a long pause the lights come up, the theater is filled with firemen asking people to leave. The audience thinking it is part of the show won’t budge. An officer finds the crew and actors backstage telling them,” There have been several explosions from gas and water lines breaking, everyone needs to leave. would you all help get the people out?”

The six start a Congo line across the stage. Each breaks off, getting a section of the audience to follow them out, doing the Congo.

Laughter is good medicine.

When you laugh you exercise your liver.

Help make someone’s liver quiver today.

Renette Steele

Lady SONshine